Wednesday, November 23, 2011


I've been settling back into Austin, really trying to root myself for the first time in a long time. It's hard and it's scary, lonely and uncomfortable. Strangely enough, I don't really have the urge to pack up and move again. I don't want to. So I guess as I've been contemplating this new state of staying I've also been reminiscing, mulling over my past lives in other places. Paris was probably the most challenging. I felt a loneliness there that I had never felt before, and, thankfully, haven't felt since. I had some dark days, but I was also so inspired. Paris really is magical, full of beauty, art, and so much charm. I never tired of the Eiffel Tower. In my last flat in Paris, I would slowly watch it come into view as I stepped out of my metro station at Pyrenées. And it also made me gasp a little. I never tired of Montmartre. I could have spent every single day wandering through that tiny neighborhood, in and out of little shops. My first trip to Paris was with my buddy Alex. We'd been living/traveling together for a few months, and we had our share of full out fights on subway trains and angrily parting ways only to meet up with each other in a new city. Very dramatic. In Paris we were like children - blissful, giddy, full of energy. We walked everywhere. We ate everything. Alex took a million pictures. We didn't want to leave, so we extended our stay. On the last day, we wandered and I kept wondering to myself, "Could I live here...?"

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