Just a blue star hangin out in space

My childhood friend Sara is in town this weekend. Last night was spent over ceviche and margaritas, talking about life and God and psychology (she's getting her masters in art therapy). Today we're going on a vision quest to find our totem animal. I'm not totally sure what that means. Basically we're going to a swimming hole and then we're going to drive around some small Texas towns and try to fill ourselves with the charm of the Wild West before she heads back to Virginia.

A little over a year ago we went on a vision quest through West Texas. I found Fleetwood Mac's "Bare Trees" album at cool record shop in Ft. Davis Texas, and we meandered through the Davis Mountains with the disc blaring. We found turquoise jewelry and beautiful stones, saw a bear at the Big Bend, had a tarantula riding in our car with us for a couple of days (it hopped in at Big Bend and reappeared on the dashboard a couple of days later), slept in a tent in Marfa, found a hippie colony in Marathon...

Couldn't stop that spinning force I felt in me

Yesterday Bethany and I drove out to Canyon Lake. It's a limestone lake, so it's uber clean and the water is basically like a glowing turquoise gemstone. On the drive out we passed all of these funny little saloons and restaurants and what not. Apparently Girl Talk is DJing on June 29 at one of these random bar/restaurants in Canyon Lake?

Anyway, I made a summer mixtape and we rolled the windows down, turned the volume up and watched Texas landscapes zip by. Sometimes I feel like a dog because I love nothing more than sitting in the front seat with my window down.

My summer favorites:

"In the Flowers" by Animal Collective. This is my back-to-Texas jam.
"Mister Heavenly" and "Pineapple Girl" by Mister Heavenly.
"Kamphopo" by The Very Best. Esau Mwamwaya layered African tunes over Architecture in Helsinki's "Heart It Races".
"Azmari Dub" by Dub Colossus. It's an Ethiopian track, with vocalist Sintayehu Zenebe. It opens with these crazy horns and Zenebe is just incredible. I love it!!!!



This is a semi-horrible photo that really doesn't do Canyon Lake justice, but... I tried.

Shems

This photo was taken somewhere outside of Jbeil, Lebanon in 2009. Lebanon's coastline is really breathtaking. There are lots of great, low craggy cliffs that dip into the most inviting little swimming coves.

I forgot that I'd taken this picture, and I don't think I've ever posted it online before. I remember wanting to own one of those little seaside huts.

"Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of"

I'm back in Texas, and, well, I don't quite know what to say. I feel pretty terrified. I arrived to San Antonio at midnight on Tuesday, spent Wednesday in a bit of a jet-lagged haze, and had my grandfather's funeral on Thursday. The funeral was harder than I'd expected. All of my family was there, I was exhausted, and my mom was crying, which I hate to see. I'd been asked to read a piece that I wrote for my grandfather when I was 13, so I sort of tearily stumbled through it, sweating under the already blistering morning sun.

After the funeral I was bombarded with questions - "What are you going to do now? What's your five year plan? What are your goals? What are you going to do with yourself?" Huh? Um, well my answer is pretty unimpressive. I don't really know. I feel fairly certain that I was meant to come back. And I believe in Providence. And that's about it. I don't know what I'll do next, but I do think there is a challenge before me - the challenge of not knowing. Knowing isn't necessary. It's humbling, it's scary, and somewhere in there I think that it's really freeing.

Chiaroscuro

Chopped off about four inches of hair in Paris. Not happy about that, but oh well... The blonde's half grown out, and I think I'll keep it that way. I've decided to wear lots of white, bone, and pale, pale blush things this summer. And maybe some gold sequins.

While looking for some old French classics for a little Paris-inspired playlist, I happened upon and subsequently fell in love with this Eartha Kitt video for C'est Si Bon. 1962 and she was killin' it. Kitt spoke 7 languages and sang in 4. She sings with great wit, tossing some English-isms into songs sung in French and adapting her lyrics a bit based on her audience.

New hair and some old favorite photos that I found somewhere out there in the cyber world.